Robin's Life

My van, Zach's job, and Emily

2012-01-24T14:20:00.000-07:00

I still don't have my van back from my little run in with the flying tire. There was $2500 worth of damage. Thank goodness for insurance. Hopefully we'll see her again by the end of the week.

Zach has a paying job again. He's actually been working since he left Chick-fil-A back in September, but not for actual money. He worked out a deal with a new comic book store owner where he got paid in used comic books. Zach has quite a collection now. Now the business has grown enough that the owner was able to hire Zach for 2 days a week. We hadn't pushed the job issue at all because we just wanted Zach to concentrate on finishing high school. Now he's almost done! By the end of this week, he'll have finished all but two courses. However one of them is English IV which he hates - lots of papers and projects. I'm really hoping he'll buckle down and finish by the end of February. It will be such a relief to have him done. I feel like our major parenting of him will be mostly done once he graduates. What he makes of his life after that is up to him.

Emily is doing great. She's such a smarty pants. I still can't believe she knows the whole alphabet. Now that I realize what she's capable of, I'm working with her more. She's learning her colors and numbers and we keep working on the letters too. We have puzzles for all those that she like to play with. She has not come very far on her speech yet. She only has maybe 10 words that are understandable. We are still waiting to start speech therapy. She's been assigned a therapist, but I still haven't heard from her yet. Her favorite toy right now is the singing Minnie Mouse the boys got her for Christmas. Her favorite TV shows are Mickey Mouse Club House (of course) and Word World. I love Word World. It's a PBS show where all the characters are formed out of the letters of their name. Go look - so cute! It teaches spelling (duh!), but the stories are hilarious.

Wow, I was wordy today. Thanks for sticking with me if you actually read this far. I do this blogging thing as much for me as anything else. Here's your reward!

Braces off!

2012-01-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

Jonathan got his braces off this morning!

Before

After

The appointment took forever. But I ran into an old friend and got to chat with her and Emily was cooperative especially after they brought her a balloon. We have to go back this afternoon to get his retainer, but then he's done! He's been eating all the sticky candy he can stuff in his mouth since we got home!

Two down. Two to go.

What's up

2012-01-12T16:37:00.000-07:00

Zach had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled last Thursday afternoon. By Friday evening he was eating pizza. I've never known anyone to have an easier time with this. He must have a very high pain tolerance!

Greg took Zach to Dallas this week for a concert - The Legend of Zelda Symphony. It played in LA last fall and Zach really wanted to go but there was no way. When we found out it would be in Dallas, Greg decided to take Zach as an early birthday present. They had a great time and Zach loved the concert.

We found out that Emily is really smart.

The girl recognizes most of the alaphabet. And I didn't teach her. We found out by accident that she knows the letters. I was just playing around with her and was shocked that she was getting almost every letter correct. I think she learned it from watching a Leapfrog video that she loves and watches over and over. At this rate she'll be reading before she can talk!

I got a new camera.

Isn't it cute? I haven't had a chance to play around with it much yet and I don't have an SD card for it yet. I just checked the tracking on the one I ordered and I think it got lost in the mail. It says it was delivered Monday, but it wasn't delivered to me! Grrrrr.

My van got smashed. Again.

I got hit by a flying tire in the middle of the freeway yesterday driving Jonathan to band. I was able to swerve a little and missed a head-on collision with the tire. I didn't have to stop and didn't even realize how bad the damage was until I parked and couldn't get my door open. She's going to need some work!

Birthday girl!

2012-01-08T18:55:00.001-07:00

2 years ago I only dreamed of ever having a daughter. Today I got to celebrate my daughter's 2nd birthday!

I actually didn't see her very much today. I was singing at church this weekend and left before she was up and didn't get home until her nap time. Anyway.....

We celebrated her birthday Friday evening with a little party at home. We invited 2 families from church that Emily has a relationship with. Both these moms have helped out so much with Emily and with J when we had her. So thankful for good friends!

Party time!

Then she took the doll out and tried to sit in it herself!

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse video. She loves Minnie!

The boys helped me make these cakepops on ice cream cones. Super easy and delicious!

We had been practicing "blowing out the candles", but she needed a little help.

Yummy!

Happy birthday my sweet Emily!!!

A New Year

2012-01-03T12:25:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year! I can't believe it's 2012. Growing up I couldn't imagine seeing 2000, but here we are 12 years past that!

Our year is off to a bit of a rough start. Zach and I were both sick yesterday with a stomach virus. Benjamin is in bed today with chills and a sore throat. I sure hope everyone else stays healthy.

Grandma and Grandpa leave tomorrow. We sure have enjoyed having them here, but I'm ready for Emily to go back to her own room! (She's been sleeping in our room, since the extra bed is in her room.)

Zach gets his wisdom teeth out Thursday.

Emily's 2nd birthday is Sunday. We'll celebrate with a little party here at the house Friday night.

I've been researching new digital cameras. I sold my big DSLR right before Christmas. I got tired of carrying that big thing around and I just don't have time to really learn how to use it. I'm looking at compact cameras with big zoom. It's so hard to know which is the "best" camera. Every review is different.

Party!

2011-12-29T15:16:00.000-07:00

Emily invited Mickey and Minnie(s) to her party in the dog kennel!

She does this all on her own. I guess she thinks it's a fun place to play.

Christmas Day

2011-12-29T15:13:00.001-07:00

Christmas day started for us about 7:30. I was surprised the boys hadn't come knocking sooner! But once Emily was awake, there was no waiting. We always start our day by reading the REAL Christmas story in the Bible.

Then it was time to open presents!

Emily's favorite gift (from her brothers)!

Ben got his 3DS!

Zach loves his comics!

Do we really need more Legos? Apparently we do!

Dad got a new tie!

Every little girl needs a tea set.

The aftermath

Time for a tea party!

Christmas dinner

Chocolate pie for dessert. Yum!

Christmas Eve and a Birthday

2011-12-26T16:59:00.000-07:00

Christmas Eve was a busy day for us. Zachary served at church for all 5 services. Jonathan and I did preschool childcare for the first two services then ran home to get Emily dressed and pick up the rest of the family for church.

Christmas Eve is also Grandma's (Greg's mom) birthday. So we ate Chinese food and had cake for her.

Our tradition is to open one present on Christmas Eve.

Jon and Ben got new Webkinz stuffed animals.

Zach got a new jacket.

Emily got new Christmas jammies.

Stay tuned. Christmas Day pics coming soon!

Love my Grandpa

2011-12-24T16:59:00.001-07:00

This one's for you Doelyn!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-23T15:36:00.001-07:00

Cake Pops

2011-12-19T18:08:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to try to make cake pops for months now. Today, we finally did! They are so simple and really yummy!

All you do is crumble a cake, mix in a can of frosting, and dip in melted almond bark. Our biggest problem was finding something to stick them in until they set. Styrofoam would be best, but we didn't have any. So we used cereal boxes (not great) and some cardboard cake plates.

Yummy!

One more picture for you, just because it's so cute!

Grandma's here!

2011-12-15T13:42:00.000-07:00

Greg's parents arrived yesterday evening. We are so happy to have them here for the holidays. So is Emily - she's getting lots of attention!

What's up

2011-12-08T21:09:00.001-07:00

I just downloaded a graduation packet for Zach to participate in a homeschool graduation ceremony. I'm pretty sure I'm not old enough to have a kid graduating from high school!

I'm still knitting. I finished these socks just in time to keep my feet warm for the very wintery weather we had last weekend.

I also made this cupcake hat for a friend's daughter (Christmas gift). I love the color combo!

I got the mantle decorated with our stockings. Yes, I knit them all!

The nativities are up.

But still no tree. Maybe tomorrow.

Greg's parents are coming for Christmas! They will be here next week and stay through the new year. We are all so excited to have them.

Emily is still just as adorable as ever. Usually. Soon after that picture with the Veggie Tales nativity she through it down and broke off the star. Gotta work on that temper!

Me and my big brother!

With her new doll, a gift from a friend for her adoption.

Planking on the stairs?!

Sibling visit

2011-12-03T14:11:00.001-07:00

A few days ago we met with Emily's former foster family. They had previously adopted 2 of her siblings. They are 5 (boy) and 4 (girl), so they remembered Emily and were very happy to see her. I don't know if Emily really remembered them or not, but she was very comfortable with them. They are full siblings and all look alike. It was neat to see them all together, although a little weird for me. Emily is our daughter now and a part of our family, but she has connections to other people out there.

It was really good to be able to talk to the parents as they have met Emily's bio parents and have a lot of information about the family. We also spent a lot of time talking about J. They had her for 4 years and really miss her and worry about how she is doing with bio dad. I think they are kind of glad we had her when she went home as that would have been extremely hard for them to deal with.

They gave me a disc of photos from Emily's first year with them, so now I have baby pictures! I had a few from a photo album given to us when we first got her, but this is a priceless gift that most foster adopted kids don't have. There are also a couple pics of the bio parents. I'm glad I have them, but will probably never show them to Emily unless/until she asks.

She was just as cute!!!

Thanksgiving in Missouri

2011-11-30T15:16:00.001-07:00

We had such a great time in Missouri for Thanksgiving. It's long drive (13 hours) but I'm so glad we went. We spent Thanksgiving Day at our friends' house. Lori cooked an amazing dinner. Greg's nephew and his wife ended up joining us too. I'm so glad they came. They are expecting twin girls in Feburary. We're so excited for them.

Nathan & Dana with Emily

On Friday we went to Silver Dollar City. (All except Zach who opted to stay at the house - whatever.) We saw in the paper that if you went before 10am (though the rides didn't open until noon) you could get in on a shopping pass for $30. That saved us a lot of money! And we got to browse through all the shops.

After lunch we hit the rides. Everyone got to do what they wanted except I didn't get to ride the Giant Barn Swing - the line was wayyyy to long!

Nap time!

Saturday we went to Bass Pro Shop to check out their Christmas village. Emily liked riding the moose!

After lunch at Steak n Shake (yum!), Lori and I took the kids to see the Muppets, while Greg took Emily back to the hotel for a nap. Then we all went to an arcade called 1984. You get in for $5 get to play all these old arcade games for free. I love Q-bert and Pac-man!

It was so good to see Jack and Lori and Jon and Ben had fun with Emma and Jackson. Hope it's not another year before we see them again.

Benjamin & Jackson

Jonathan & Emma

Update

2011-11-23T13:16:00.001-07:00

We're on our way to Missouri to spend Thanksgiving with some dear friends. We're so excited to introduce them to Emily.

I didn't have time to blog before we left, but Emily's party was so much fun. We had a great time celebrating with all our friends.

Here's a picture of the cake. After checking Walmart and Costco (and not really wanting what they had to offer) I put out a plea on Facebook. Turns out the friend who did our family photo shoot is also talented with a decorating bag and fondant. I love how it turned out! (There weren't really hearts on it, just needed to block out our last name.)

Family Photo

2011-11-19T11:39:00.001-07:00

Here's another of the pics from our photo shoot. Can't figure out how to make it bigger on the sidebar.

Wow, I have a good looking family!

Our Family

2011-11-18T14:07:00.001-07:00

It took all of 5 minutes with the judge. And now she's all ours.

Now we've got to get ready for a party tomorrow!

It's official!

2011-11-18T10:42:00.001-07:00

Here's our girl Emily Michelle.

What's up

2011-11-14T13:42:00.001-07:00

Greg had last Friday off for Veteran's Day. So we took Jon, Ben, and Emily to Explora (childrens science museum). Jon and Ben have been there many times, but this was Emily's first. She was fascinated with everything.


Jumping water!

Only four more days until you'll get to see pictures of Emily's beautiful face! We have an appointment with the judge at 10:15 Friday morning. We are beyond excited that Emily will finally be all ours!

We're having a big party Saturday night to celebrate, so I've got lots to get done this week to get ready.

Emily is FINALLY calling me Mama. There is nothing more sweet to my ears! And we're pretty sure her favorite color is purple. She's been saying that word for a couple weeks now. It sounds so cute when she says it.

I'm in love with Instagram. I've seen other's photos but just didn't get what the big deal was. Greg got me the new iphone 4s last week and the camera is amazing (way better than the one on the 3gs). So I downloaded the Instagram app and started playing. (See above photo.) You'll be seeing more very soon!

Come back Friday for pictures!

Slippers

2011-11-09T14:24:00.001-07:00

I made these a couple of weeks ago to keep Emily's feet warm. I was thinking I needed to get her some slippers when one of the boys said, "Can't you just make her some like ours." Well of course I can! And I already had yarn leftover from her stocking. They did end of costing me about $10 because I broken the circular needle I was using. :(

Before felting

I made the smallest size. I was sure hoping I could get it to felt small enough. After about 20-30 minutes in the washing machine, they were perfect.

After felting

I added some flexible fabric glue hearts to the bottoms because that wool is wayyyy to slippery for a toddler. Now if I could just get her to leave them on!

Finalization!

2011-11-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

Guess what came in the mail today?

A piece of paper that say we get to finalize Emily's adoption on November 18!!!!!

In just 2 1/2 weeks she will be all ours!

Halloween

2011-11-01T12:19:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was the holiday I dread most. I'm just not a big fan of halloween. I don't like spending money on costumes that get worn once. I don't like my kids eating so much candy. And I certainly don't like all the scary, ugly stuff that halloween entails.

But I was informed several weeks ago by my boys that we "have" to get a really cute costume for Emily. So I listened! I tried to get a Minnie Mouse costume on ebay (regular price at Disney Store $40 - I don't think so!) That didn't work out, although I did manage to score a Transformer costume for Ben. So off to Target we went. I found an adorable Ladybug costume for $12!

So yesterday afternoon, I dressed Emily and the boys put on their costumes (and Jon went as a soccer ref, which is what he acually is every Saturday!) We got some really cute photos. Here's the only one I can show here.

We went for an early dinner at Chick-fil-A and visited Zach at work (he's working at a new family-friendly comic book store - he's paid in used comics for now, but he will probably be hired for real for the Christmas season). Then we went to a Trunk-or-Treat at the church we used to attend. Emily had a great time playing the little games and just loved that people kept giving her candy! We got home just in time to start passing out candy to the trick-or-treaters. Greg took the boys and Emily around our neighborhood.

So now we have too much candy. And Emily now knows what candy is. She loves smarties!

Pretty pink dress

2011-10-27T17:47:00.000-07:00

Look what I just ordered! (from Gymboree.com)

And of course I had to get the matching tights!

It was quite a bit more than I would normally spend on a dress, but this one is for a special occasion - Emily's adoption day! I've been looking on-line for a few days for the "perfect" dress. I came across this one today and it was exactly what I was looking for - girly, pink, pretty, but not too dressy. I use to shop at Gymboree when we had one in the mall when Zach was little, but I hadn't seen their stuff in years. I'm sure I'll be visiting their website again! I'm also thinking this won't be the last time I spend more than I planned on a dress!

Our adoption paperwork was hand delivered to the judge by our attorney on Tuesday. We should hear tomorrow or early next week if everything is a go for November 18. If all is well in three weeks Emily will be all ours!

Photo Shoot

2011-10-20T13:14:00.001-07:00

My friend Stephanie did an outdoor photo shoot for us last week. She delivered the disk with the pics today. They turned out great! It's not easy getting good shots of a busy toddler! I can't post any of the pics with Emily yet. But hopefully soon! Our social worked visited today and things are looking good to finalize on November 18.

Anyway, here's a few I can show you.

Zachary

Jonathan

Benjamin

Dad and the boys

Mom and the boys

You'll have to wait until next month for the rest. But believe me they are adorable!

Houston visit

2011-10-12T12:55:00.000-07:00

I guess I'd better tell you about my little trip to Houston.

Emily did great on the airplane. The hardest part was take-off and landing, because she had to be sitting in my lap not playing with the tray table. We had an extra seat on the way there, so we had some room to spread out. No extra seat on the way back, but a very sweet lady sat next to us and even played with her a little.

Emily finally met my parents. I have adorable pictures of her giving kisses to them. Wish I could show them to you.

On Saturday, we went to Dewberry Farm, a pumpkin patch/corn maze/farm with tons of stuff for kids to see and do. Emily loved it. Her favorite animal was the big, black pig! Here's a couple of pics I can show.

I also got to see my nephew's high school band march at halftime of a football game. The bands in Texas are so much bigger than here. He's having a great time being in band. That was the best part of high school for me. Watching him brought back so many memories!

Sunday afternoon, we got to spend a couple hours with my friend Kristen. It was so good to see her and her family and see all the things the girls at Mercy House are making. The paper bowls were beautiful. Go see! Do some Christmas shopping and support a great cause.

After our visit Kristen wrote about me on her blog. Never stop dreaming!

She's free!

2011-09-29T12:07:00.000-07:00

The hearing to terminate Emily's legal father's rights was today and termination was granted. She's free! We are hoping to finalize her adoption on November 18, National Adoption Day. I emailed our attorney today to see if that will be possible.

Regardless, there will be one more stocking hanging on our mantle this year.

I finished it last night. It just needs to be steam blocked and lined.

Emily and I are flying to Houston tomorrow to visit my sister and parents. My other sister and her family are coming down from Dallas for the day and my niece is coming home from college for the weekend. I will also get to see my friend Kristen of WeAreThatFamily and Mercy House. It's going to be a whirlwind weekend but I can't wait!

Can't keep up!

2011-09-22T13:09:00.000-07:00

With homeschooling and chasing a toddler all day, I just can't seem to keep up with blogging. Sorry all 3 of you who actually read this! Here's what's been happening.

We had a bit of of crisis with Zachary last week. He hated school, hated his job, hated his family, hated his life! I'm thinking there was a bit of depression going on and stress. But we got through it and he's decided to finish high school (good plan Zach!) and quit his job. He's had a very good attitude this week and has gotten a lot of school done. He's working today and tomorrow and maybe next week, but then he will be done with Chick-fil-A. It was a good first job for him and he learned a lot. But it's just not worth it to be so stressed out over work at 17 yrs old. We are actually hoping he'll just concentrate on finishing school before he tries to get another job. He can probably finish by February or March.

Little Miss Emily (yes, I'm telling her name now, but still no pics until finalization) is doing great. She really is trying to talk more, but everything comes out sounding the same. She already has a developmental therapist that comes twice a week, but we all think she needs more specialized help. So a speech therapist is coming next week to do an assessment.

Emily will get to go on an airplane next week! She and I are flying to Houston to visit my sister and parents. We already had this scheduled and then last weekend my dad had a couple of episodes of really high blood pressure and was refusing medication. (He's ready for heaven.) My mom got him to understand that we're coming and he decided to take the medication. So I guess he'll stick around a little longer to meet his 10th grandchild. For those of you who don't know, my dad had a brain tumor and surgery and radiation treatment almost 16 years ago. He was supposed to live for 6 months. He's since had a stroke. He lives in a nursing home and cannot talk or care for himself.

I talked to J on the phone last weekend. She sounded like she's doing ok. She asked about the boys and Emily. She said school is good and she's doing her homework "all by herself". I sent her a package in the mail too, a new Fancy Nancy book and some little things she left here. It's hard, but I guess we all have to move on.

Emily is awake from her nap, so I guess I'm done blogging!

Soccer!

2011-09-13T13:44:00.000-07:00

Soccer season is upon us! Jon and Ben both played in their first games Saturday and Jon reffed 2 games as well.

Ready to ref.

Ben (in white) going for the ball.

Jon running hard.


E and Ben at Jon's game.

I'm so proud of both boys. The team Ben has played on for the last 4 years broke up, so he's playing on a new team. It wasn't easy for him to jump in with kids he doesn't know, but he has done so well. His coach is great and he's improving every day.

Jon didn't play last year, but was asked to play on a new team this year. It's quite a change for him as they now play 11 players on a side and on a full size field. His team got creamed Saturday, but the boys played hard and now see how much work they have to do to be competitive.

Our schedule will be crazy for the next few weeks with practices 4 nights a week and games on Saturday, but I think it's a great experience for them.

Name change

2011-09-07T13:17:00.000-07:00

When we finalize M's adoption, we get to choose what her legal name will be. We decided a couple months ago what her name will be. Her birth name (that we've been calling her) will become her middle name and we are giving her a new first name.

We didn't want to call her by her new name when J was still with us as we thought that would be confusing to her. M was called by a different name with the other foster family, so J already had to make the change once.

Now that J is gone (miss that girl!), we've started using both names with her to start getting her used to her new name. It's been a little weird, but we really think the new name suits her.

I just hope she's not scarred for life being called by three different names before she's even 2!

I'm sorry I can't share the name here. Until she's legally ours, I can't share her name or photo online. If you really want to know (and I know you in real life) send me an email and I'll share.

Saying Goodbye

2011-09-03T12:51:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was the day. We said goodbye to J. It was a hard day. I picked her up from school at 2. I braided her hair one last time. Then we talked to her a little and gave her some legos (she loved playing legos with the boys). She spent the next hour playing with Jon and Ben. We were planning to go to Chick-fil-A for an early dinner and to say goodbye to Zach who was working. When I told her it was time to get ready to go, she lost it. She was screaming that she didn't want to go. She screamed at me to call the judge. I stayed calm and told her that there was nothing I could do, she belongs with her dad. She called down after a few minutes and that was it. She was fine at Chick-fil-A. She said goodbye to everyone. Then I drove her to her dad's. She fell asleep on the way (which is her way of checking out). When we got there she immediately took her new legos inside and started playing. When I told her it was time for me to leave, she said "Bye Mom" with no emotion whatsoever. She did let me hold her, but she was emotionally checked out. So sad.

I told her that her dad has our number and it was ok to call us. Her dad said we could call her. I might try to call next weekend. We do plan to send her letters and pictures occasionally too.

I hope she'll be ok. I know her dad is in for a rough time with her. I don't think he realizes what a tramatized child she is. But they'll have to figure out their own way.

We'll be fine. We still have M. She's not going anywhere.

Thanks so much to everyone that has been praying for us.

Last week

2011-08-30T10:18:00.000-07:00

This is our last week with J. She spent the weekend with her dad. From what she tells us, I think it went ok. It was weird and quiet around here without her. M sure did miss her and was very happy to see her when we picked her up from school. And I guess she is going to try my patience right up until the very end. She did not want to go to school this morning and was determined that everyone in the house (most of whom were still sleeping) knew it.

And more drama with M's case. The termination hearing for her legal father was yesterday, but there was an issue with the court appointed attorney. So the case got continued until Sept. 29. More waiting. There is still a chance we can finalize on National Adoption Day in November, but I'm not really counting on it.

School is going well so far. It's not easy keeping M entertained, but the boys are getting their work done and learning (I hope!).

Ben's soccer practice is going well. He really likes his coach and team. Jon starts practice tonight with his new team. It will be crazy for the next couple months with practice 4 nights a week, but I think it's going to be a great experience for both of them.

J update

2011-08-22T19:15:00.003-07:00

J started kindergarten last Thursday. She did very well and likes it, although going everyday this week is going to be a challenge for her. She had been going to a preschool program with her dad, but only once a week.

She had her first overnight visit with her dad last night. From what she's told me it went well. But this afternoon after school she was a mess. She had a couple of pages of very simple homework that she decided she didn't want to do. After an hour of screaming and crying before dinner and another hour after dinner, it finally got done. I'm pretty sure it wasn't really about the homework. She knows her life is changing and that's scary. All that fear and anxiety comes out in her difficult behavior. Greg and I are just trying to stay consistent and patient. But I think it's going to be a very hard 2 weeks. She'll spend the night again Wednesday and then the whole weekend starting Friday night.

Please keep praying for all of us.

New School Year

2011-08-22T18:43:00.003-07:00

We started our homeschool year today.

Zachary - Senior (the only picture I got of him today)

Zachary is enrolled in Liberty Online Academy. He will have a diploma and transcript through them when he's done. He'll be taking the SAT in October.

Jonathan - 7th Grade

Benjamin - 4th Grade

Jon and Ben both do Christian Light math, reading, and language. This year we are trying Monarch (an online curriculum) for history and science.

Jon and Zach both do homeschool band. Ben takes piano lessons. Jon and Ben will be playing soccer for the fall and spring.

Our first day went really well. It was a bit of a challenge keeping M entertained, but she did ok. Only 180 more days to go!

Good news!

2011-08-17T18:59:00.004-07:00

Finally some good news! We got notice today of the TPR hearing in M's case. This is the last legal thing that needs to be taken care of before we can start the adoption process. The hearing will be August 29 and is really just a formality. This person won't show up and his rights will be terminated. We will have to wait 30 days (in case anyone wants to file an appeal), then we will be able to file our adoption petition. Guess I'll be calling a lawyer soon so we can get started on the paper work. I really think we might be able to finalize before the end of the year.

M's language is coming along too. She started saying bye-bye and puppy this week. She is sooo adorable. I can't wait until I can post a picture here!

J starts kindergarten tomorrow. I think she'll do just fine. She saw her dad's house for the first time yesterday. It went ok, although the therapist said she was hyper and uncooperative after I left.

And finally, Ben started soccer practice with a new team tonight. It went great. Ben had fun and Greg really liked the coach and how he ran the practice. I think it's going to be a good fit.

2011-08-13T11:54:00.000-07:00

We surprised J today with a trip to Build-a-Bear for a bear to remember us by. She named her Robin.

Going home

2011-08-12T06:07:00.001-07:00

J will be going home in three weeks.

We had the meeting yesterday. I wasn't expecting the transition to take place quite so fast, but they feel it's better to not keep kids in limbo very long. It's going to be a crazy, stressful time for her. She will meet her kindergarten teacher and see her school for the first time Tuesday morning. Then she will see her dad's house for the first time Tuesday afternoon. She starts school Thursday. She will have her first overnight visit a week from Sunday.

I'm not sure how she will handle it all. I think it is becoming very real to her now that we have a date. We saw some "disregulated" behavior last night. I know she's happy to finally have answers and to finally have a permanent home, but she knows what she's losing too.

Please keep praying for all of us.

Graduation

2011-08-11T10:22:00.001-07:00

Yesterday J graduated from the preschool program she has attended with her dad for the last year and a half. She got to meet her 29 year old brother that she has never met before. She met her dad's ex-wife (they are actually still friends) and her 12 yr old daughter. These are the people who will be there for her and her dad as she transitions to him. It was sad for me to see her with this new family because it's one more reminder that she will never be ours. But it was also good to see that this family loves her and will take care of her. They are good people. She should have been with them already.

We have the meeting this afternoon to decided how the transition will work. It will be good to have some answers.

No TPR

2011-08-02T21:03:00.000-07:00

Well, the trial finished today. J will be going to live with her dad. There just wasn't any evidence that he would not be a good father to her. I'm honestly not sure why she wasn't already returned to him. We are very sad to see her go, but we are thankful that she will finally (after 4 1/2 years) be through with foster care.

The good news for us and for J is that the judge ordered that a meeting take place immediately to set up a transition plan and that her dad enroll her in school near him. Our fear was that the case would still drag on and she would have to change schools as well as homes.

We aren't sure of a time frame yet, but J's attorney mentioned 2 months. We'll know more after that meeting.

Thanks so much for all your thoughts and prayers. Please keep praying as this will be a difficult transition for J. We plan to tell her Thursday afternoon with her therapist.

Zach is home!!!

2011-08-02T08:15:00.003-07:00

Zachary made it home last night - finally. Five weeks is a long time to be gone. We hadn't seen him in three weeks since we left him at Liberty University for his missions trip to the Bahamas.

He was supposed to be home Sunday night, but his plane from DC was delayed and he would have missed his connection in Denver. So he had to wait another day (he was with family). But he's home.

His trip was great. He worked at a youth camp for Bahamian teenagers. We're still getting the stories, but he saw what God can do and how lives can be changed when people are willing to serve.

Jonathan is at church camp. Greg dropped him off Sunday evening. He comes home tomorrow. It will be nice to have our whole family together again.

M can climb up in a chair now. Nothing is safe!!!

We have the rest of the termination trial this afternoon. Check back tomorrow for the results and please be praying for God's will to be done.

Photo Book

2011-07-28T09:12:00.002-07:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Here's the photo book I made of my little New York City trip I took during our vacation.

Sick and more...

2011-07-24T12:29:00.003-07:00

Ok, so that sick to my stomach comment on my last post. It was a little more than just being upset about the situation. By Thursday night I could barely get out of bed. I won't go into all the gory details, but I was sick. It is not easy being sick when you have 4 kids to care for and one of them a baby. Greg was able to come home from work early Thursday and Friday and Jonathan was a big help too. I'm finally today starting to feel somewhat normal again.

We do have a date to finish the trial: August 2.

And some exciting news about M. I think she's finally decided to talk! The last couple days she has been saying a lot more: da-da, ma-ma, diaper, thank you, night-night. It just seems like she's trying more to talk. We know she understands a lot. She just needs to make the jump to actually using words herself. Because the screaming to communicate is not really working for us!

We have a busy week coming up with doctor appointments for the girls and a visit with M's social worker. Hopefully we'll find out where they are in the process of termination so we can get moving on her adoption.

Zach will be back in the states Thursday and home Sunday night. We sure do miss him.

TPR

2011-07-21T08:20:00.003-07:00

The TPR trial continued again yesterday. Greg attended in the morning and I attended in the afternoon. It still didn't finish. The last witness (Dad) is on the stand and then there will be closing arguments and the judge's decision. We're waiting now to see what date it will finish, maybe August 1. It's really not looking like his rights will be terminated. The state's case is pretty weak and he's been doing everything he's been asked to do. I'm really not sure why she hasn't already been placed with him.

I haven't really gotten a straight answer about what will happen if his rights are not terminated. J's GAL (attorney) mentioned a three month transition. Our biggest concern is school. We are really praying that the trial will finish before she starts Kindergarten about August 22. If she will be moving in with him within the next couple of months, we think it would be best if she started school in his district so she won't have to change schools. It will mean a lot of driving for us, but the transition will be hard enough as it is. At least should wouldn't have to worry about changing schools too.

If by some chance his rights are terminated, everyone is sure he will appeal which could add several months to a year or more to the case. And now there is also a brother (much older) that the state might look at for adopting.

I'm really not hopeful at all that we will ever adopt her. Part of me is hoping that the judge does not terminate. At least then, she could move on with her life instead of being in foster care for another year or two. It will be a huge transition for her, but she is a resilient child and I hope and pray that she will do ok.

I'm having a really hard time emotionally dealing with all of this. I'm literally sick to my stomach and on the verge of tears today thinking about her leaving and what she'll go through if she does. I think I'll do better once we have the judges decision and a plan for her.

Please keep us all in your prayers.

Update

2011-07-17T08:59:00.005-07:00

So sorry it's been so long since I've updated. Life has been kind of crazy!

We got home from our vacation Monday evening. It was another looooong 3 days in the car to get home, but the kids all did great and I'm so glad we made the trip.

The TPR trial for J's dad started Tuesday afternoon, but they didn't even get through 2 witnesses. It will continue again next Wednesday and then August 9 if needed. I still really feel at this point it could go either way. Yes, it would be in J's best interest to be freed for adoption, but her dad has been doing everything he's asked to do and I'm not sure from a legal standpoint that his rights can be terminated. I'm having a really hard time with all of this. I want to love J with all my heart and I do love her. But I think I hold back a little because there might be a chance we have to let her go. I'm praying all the time for God to help me love her with His love.

My sister Renee and her 2 youngest kids have been here since Wednesday evening. We've been swimming, to the zoo, and bowling. We're going swimming again today. We've got to keep these kids busy or they just want to play video games all day!

Greg and I celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary Thursday. I really can't believe I've been married over half my life! And Greg still surprises me - he got me an iPad! Renee babysat for us so we could have a date night. Thanks Renee!

Zach called yesterday from the Bahamas. He's doing great, working hard and having fun. I sure do miss him!

Renee will leave tomorrow morning and we'll try to get back into our regular routine, which all of us need, especially J and me!

Heading home

2011-07-09T18:47:00.001-07:00

We said goodbye to the family today and headed to Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA to drop Zachary off for his missions trip to the Bahamas. He'll be gone for 3 weeks. I know he'll have a great time and really hope he comes back with a new perspective on life.

Our vacation was great. We didn't plan a lot and spent much of our time just hanging out at the lake with family. The kids all love the water, so they were happy to just be swimming.

I got to spend a day in New York City with my sister-in-law and nieces. I'll have to blog about that with pictures next week after we're home and I have a computer again.

We still have another hour and a half to drive tonight, then 2 more days before we're home. Then we hit the ground running with court, an appointment for J, social worker and therapist visits, and my sister coming all in the first two days. Yikes!

Vacation

2011-07-03T17:22:00.001-07:00

Have we really been gone a week already? We are having a great time here in Virginia.

The 3 day drive went amazingly well! J did great in the car, but did have a pretty big meltdown the 2nd night in the hotel-not fun, but we got through it. I really can't believe how well M did in the car. The only time she really got upset was the last hour of each day. But by that time, you just keep going! Zach did a great job keeping her entertained.

Our family here has just completely welcomed these girls into their hearts. It's a beautiful thing. M has already figured out that the best place to be is in Grandpa's arms.

I'll share more later. We're almost to my neice's house. I just love being here with this amazing family I married in to.

Night out

2011-06-22T12:09:00.004-07:00

We

went to McDonald's (their choice)

and to a Drum Corp show.

Our favorite of the night, the Cadets, won the night.

I love spending time with these awesome boys!

Father's Day Car Show

2011-06-21T11:44:00.003-07:00

Our church has a huge car show every Father's Day. We went Saturday afternoon before church.

Here's the boys with their favorites.

Dad and his kids minus Zach who was at work. Sorry about the starred out faces.

And a really cute little girl checking out a cool car.
In other news...We signed the Adoptive Placement Agreement for M. Nothing really changes and we can't even move on her adoption until the TPR is taken care of. But now she is technically no longer in foster care but an adoptive placement instead.

Disclosure

2011-06-17T18:11:00.003-07:00

So we had disclosure today for M, which is when we get to see all her records and make a final decision about adopting. You just never know what will happen with CYFD. We had been told all along that she was already free for adoption. The first thing we were told today is that she is NOT free for adoption. I can't go into the specifics here, but there is another person whose rights need to be terminated before we can adopt. We are fairly certain it will just be a formality and no one will contest the termination, but it means another 2-3 months of waiting before we can start the legal process to adopt.

We are really not too upset by this. One of the things we were concerned about was J watching another child get adopted (she saw 3 get adopted in her previous foster home) while she is still waiting. We are hoping that by the time we finalize with M she will be close to finalization too, or at least parental rights terminated so we can tell her it will be her turn soon.

In other news...Zach is officially done with his junior year of high school!

And we leave for our vacation to Virginia in 9 days!

Court hearing

2011-06-09T08:40:00.002-07:00

We had the permanency planning hearing for J's case this week. It was about what I expected, pretty much just a formality. Nothing changes. We did find out a little more about why the girls were removed from the other foster home. Everything said about us and how J is doing in our care was very positive. The important court date is the TPR hearing July 12. However the attorneys think we won't finish that day, so we have a second date of August 2 to finish. So hopefully we'll have termination by then. But then there will probably be an appeal which will drag everything out several more months. Learning patience!!!

The good news is that M's case is moving along. We will have our disclosure meeting next Friday. We will get to see all her records and make our final decision about adopting (we already made that decision!). Her adoption could be finalized in 3-4 months!

Another baby blanket

2011-06-06T11:27:00.003-07:00

I finished another baby blanket over the weekend.

You can find the pattern here on Ravelry. Proceeds from the sale of this pattern go to earthquake/tsunami relief in Japan.

The blanket is for my friend Tiffany's new baby Gabriella. Nearly four years ago I blogged about Gabriella's big sister who was born at 28 weeks and lived only a few days. This family went through so much grief over losing their baby and then struggles with getting pregnant again. We are so happy for them and their miracle baby.

Update

2011-05-31T12:49:00.003-07:00

Well, things are going very well here. It's finally starting to feel normal to have 5 kids!

J is doing really well. Her behavior issues are much less often and severe. I think she is getting more and more comfortable and attached to us. We have the permanency hearing next week and are looking forward to the TPR hearing in July. I really want to be able to tell her she'll be with us forever.

M is doing great. She's walking more than crawling now. She's still not really talking (other than something that sounds sort of like "all done" and "nite-nite". We were having sleep issues. She would go down fine at night, but then wake up after an hour and not want to go back to sleep. We bought a white-noise machine and that seems to be helping - no waking up 2 nights in a row! Our homestudy update is done and we should be doing disclosure (when we get to see all her records) in June. After that we get to talk to a lawyer!

Jon and Ben are finished with school and are enjoying their break. They rode bikes to their friend Bradley's several times last week to work on a "fort" in his backyard. They were so proud of all their hard work. Then it all blew apart in the wind Sunday. Bummer!

Zach is still finishing up his school. He's almost done, if he can just get his English research paper finished, I think he'll make it. We are all ready for him to get done so it will really feel like summer. You can pray for him too if you think about it. He's having a hard time dealing with the new manager at Chick-fil-A. He doesn't want to quit, but work is stressful and no fun for him right now.

We took all the kids to an indoor swimming pool Sunday afternoon. It was the first time we'd taken the girls to a pool. We weren't really sure how they would do. Well, J is a fish! She loves the water and is not afraid to put her head under. I think we'll have her swimming before the summer is over. The water was too cold for M. She mostly just sat on my lap shivering. But I least I didn't have to chase her!

That's all for now!

Court date!

2011-05-21T19:38:00.003-07:00

Well, we got our TPR court date! July 12. We are thrilled that this is finally happening, but it's messing up our vacation plans. At least we still have some time to figure it out. One way or another we are going to Virginia so our family can meet our girls!

Finally!

2011-05-20T12:52:00.002-07:00

Today we received a certified letter informing us that TPR (termination of parental rights) has been filed for J's dad. Finally! We've been waiting on this for weeks. A court hearing has to take place within 60 days, so hopefully in July. We have really been hoping and praying that this would happen before she starts school in the fall. Looks like our prayers have been answered! Now we just hope the court date will be later in July so it doesn't mess up our vacation plans.

We also received notice of a permanency hearing in June. I think that one will just be a formality, since TPR has already been filed.

At least things are finally moving!

I think J will do so much better once she knows for sure she's here to stay. I know I will!

This and that

2011-05-17T11:02:00.003-07:00

We had a home visit from another social worker to update our homestudy for M's adoption. She still needs to talk to Zach, but then it should be finished quickly. At least things are moving.

We had a meeting with workers from RCI who will be working with M on her developmental delays. What's really funny is a lot of the things she wasn't doing 3 weeks ago when they did her assesment she is now doing. We will have a developmental specialist come once a week to work on language and self help skills. I don't really think we are going to need this help for long. She's already catching up.

We decided that we will drive to Virginia for our vacation this summer. We did it several years ago when Ben was the same age as M is now and said we would never do it again. But after adding up the cost of 6 plane tickets (M wouldn't need a ticket) and a mini-van rental, we decided that was just too much money. So if we want to see the family we have to drive. 5 kids in a van for 3 days. Should be an adventure!

Still no news on J's case. :(

Jon and Ben finish school on Friday! Zach still has 3 or 4 weeks left, depending on how hard he works at getting things finished.

Aquarium

2011-05-13T13:39:00.005-07:00

We took a field trip to the Aquarium and Botanical Gardens today. We went with some friends who also homeschool. The weather was perfect and everyone had fun. Another successful outing with 5 kids!

M liked the fish, or maybe she was just glad to be out of her stroller!

Update

2011-05-06T10:32:00.005-07:00

Greg, Jon, and Ben left yesterday afternoon for homeschool band camp. So it's just me and the girls for a couple days. (Well, Zach is home today, but busy with school work.) J had a hard time last night. She has trouble with any kind of change. But she's doing better today.

J has a new social worker. Her worker showed up for her visit today with the new one. The new one is an adoptive worker and they want us to sign an intent to adopt. But the CYFD attorney still has not filed the TPR. More waiting, uggh. The biggest issue is that we want to take vacation in July and don't want to purchase plane tickets and then get a court date while we are gone, but we can't wait too much longer.

I get a night out! Some friends at our old church are doing a parent's night out as a fundraiser. I asked the social worker and we are able to take the girls to things like this. J's visit with her dad tonight got canceled (he's sick), so I'm taking them and going to a movie! I think I'll see Soul Surfer.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. I'm sure going to enjoy this first one as the mom of girls!

Pony tails

2011-05-04T15:19:00.002-07:00

I put M's hair in pony tails yesterday!

I'm not a fan of the pony tail on the top of a baby's head. But twin ponies on the sides - adorable! Her hair has gotten pretty long, so I decided to see if it would work. It did! She looked so cute!

In other news, she is walking all over. She almost stood up from the floor (instead of crawling to furniture first) this morning, but slipped because of slippery socks. She's is definitely on the move!

America, the Beautiful

2011-04-27T12:01:00.000-07:00

Here's what Ben's been working on.

Growing up!

2011-04-27T10:18:00.003-07:00

M took her first steps about 2 weeks ago. But just yesterday she has decided she wants to be a walker. She is still pretty unsteady, but she's walking all over!

And yesterday was the first day with no bottle. I'm not sure she really even missed it. She just needs to start drinking more out of her sippy cup.

She's growing up!

Easter and a blanket

2011-04-25T10:01:00.003-07:00

Easter weekend didn't go quite like we had planned, but we managed to make the most of it. Greg was sick and the weather of course was awful. Benjamin and Jonathan (reffing) had soccer games Saturday afternoon. I thought the weather would be ok, but by the time we got to the field the wind was howling and dirt was blowing. Yuck! Greg and I ended up staying in the car with the girls until they finished.

Then it was home to get ready for church. It wasn't very warm, but we dressed up the girls in their new dresses and I put on a skirt (first time since last summer I think!). We did manage to get some cute pictures (that I can't post here).

We went to Chick-fil-A for dinner and to see Zachary. He had to work and wasn't able to go to church with us.

Everyone got Easter goodies (baskets for the girls) Sunday morning. More cute pictures I can't post here. Zachary ran sound for the kids services (4 services!) all morning. Jonathan and I served in the preschool ministry for 2 services.

We were supposed to have a picnic Sunday afternoon with some of the families in our small group. But once again the weather did not cooperate. So instead J and I went to Walgreens for cough syrup for Greg (he's still sick) and Domino's for pizza for dinner.

At some point over the weekend, I finished the baby blanket I had started before the girls came.

It's for a friend due next month. I was just glad I finished it before the baby was born. Now I'm working on another baby blanket for another friend due next month also. I'm pretty sure I won't finish this one in time!

J's case and M's eval

2011-04-22T09:29:00.003-07:00

We had a busy day yesterday! J's social worker came with news and M had a developmental evaluation.

So CYFD has finally decided to get moving on J's case. They are supposed to be filing TPR (termination of parental rights) on dad this week. I'll believe it when we actually receive notification, but at least that's something. Once it's been filed we should have a court date within 60 days. At that hearing the judge will either approve or deny the TPR. The case is really resting on our therapist's testimony that J is the healthiest (emotionally and physically) she has ever been and she needs to stay with us. If the judge approves TPR all visits with dad and bio family stop and dad has 30 days to appeal. I have no idea how long an appeal would take, but there would be no visits during that time. If the judge denies the TPR, she will go to live with dad after a transition period. So I guess its in a judge's hands now. But we really know it's in God's hands!

M's doctor suggested we have a developmental evaluation and we had that yesterday. It turns out she is a little behind in language and gross and fine motor skills. The delays are enough that she qualifies for services. So we will probably be starting some therapy for her in the next few weeks. I really don't think we have anything to worry about and I believe she will catch up quickly.

We sure do love these girls and we will do whatever it takes for them to be happy and healthy.

The new addition

2011-04-18T11:06:00.003-07:00

We had a new addition to the family over the weekend.

Yup, a new fridge! The old one faithfully served us for 18 years. But a few weeks ago she decided she did not want to make ice anymore, so we decided it was time for a new one.

She's so bright and shiny and roomy. And she gives me ice and water from the door. So thoughtful she is. I think I'm in love. Welcome to the family!

The fun part

2011-04-14T19:07:00.003-07:00

So I don't want you all to get the idea that we aren't enjoying these girls. Yes, it's hard. But it is also fun! Today we went shopping for Easter dresses, a first for me!

The hard part

2011-04-14T09:41:00.003-07:00

When we started this foster care adoption process, we really wanted to adopt only - a child already free for adoption. We didn't want to deal with the yucky part of foster care: visits, appointments, not knowing. But we agreed to take a concurrent placement and that's what we got - a beautiful, sweet girl, but all the yucky stuff too. I don't like it. It's hard. It's not fair to J.

We had the citizen review board meeting yesterday. We didn't really find out anything new other than Dad really wants her back. And I honestly don't know why she's not already back with him. He loves her, he has a stable job, a home. He doesn't drink or do drugs. I think she's probably going to end up with him. But no one (who can do anything about) seems to care that she's still (after 4 years) living her life in limbo. While we would love to adopt her, more than anything we want her to be able to live a real life, to be done with foster care and visits and appointments.

I'm learning to trust. I know God has a plan. I'm learning to be patient. God knows what he's doing and we have to wait for his timing. I'm trying (not very successfully) to take one day at a time and not worry about tomorrow.

As for M...she had a well-child checkup this week. She is healthy, but seems to be a little behind developmentally. (But she did start walking last weekend!) That really didn't surprise me. She's doing at 15 months the things the boys were doing at 12 months. So we have a developmental assessment scheduled for next week. It will be good to know where she's at developmentally and know if we need to get help.

Zoo!

2011-04-06T14:12:00.003-07:00

We all had so much fun at the zoo today. We took the wagon for the girls to ride in. M loves riding in the wagon and would fuss everytime I took her out to get a picture. J had been to the zoo once before and loved going again. The boys always love the zoo.

I made sure I got a picture that I could actually show on here - no faces!

McDonald's afterward made it the perfect outing!

Update

2011-04-05T12:29:00.003-07:00

Finally something is happening in J's case. We received notice of a Citizen Review Board hearing scheduled for next week. Everyone involved in the case (bio parents, foster parents, social worker's, etc.) gets to have input, then the board makes a recommendation to the judge. I don't think this means that we have a court date or anything. But I least we will be able to find out more about her case. I hope we will find out more about her bio dad and if he really desires to parent her.

M's case is moving along. Her social worker visited this morning. Somehow I didn't have her in my calendar and I was in the shower when she arrived. Thankfully, Greg was home! An adoption worker is looking over our homestudy and should be contacting us soon. Once our homestudy has been updated we will have a disclosure meeting, which means we get to see all of her records and information. After that, we get on to the legal part of it. We could possible be able to finalize by the fall!

Both girls are doing very well in our home. M is finally getting to sleep on her own and sleeping through the night. Until about a week ago, she was waking up at least once every other night and it was tough to get her back to sleep. But it might have been teething related - she cut her second molar last week! She is eating more and more table food, but we still do baby food too because that sometimes is just easier. She can drink from a sippy cup, but isn't quite ready to give up the bottle just yet. She is just about ready to walk - any day now!

J's behavior is improving, but we still have hard days. She can be defiant at times, but she's learning that Mom and Dad are in charge and things are a lot easier for her when she obeys. She's had no potty accidents in the last couple weeks, so I think we're over that. I've been working on letter recognition with her. She only recognized a few when we started. We've learned up through G and just added H,I, & J today. She is still resistant to learning how to write correctly, so we're holding off on that.

Greg is off work today and tomorrow. He took the boys to Itz (a pizza, game place) today. Tomorrow all 7 of us (even Zach!) are going to the zoo!

Thanks for checking on us!

What's up?

2011-03-28T09:36:00.003-07:00

My sister Renee and niece Sarah (17) were here over the weekend. Sarah had hadn't been here or wanted to come for a couple years because there was nothing for her to do and boys were no fun. But she couldn't wait to come meet the girls.

It was so nice to have them here and they were such a help. Renee was great at rocking M to sleep and Sarah kept J entertained.

Greg ran in the Batan Death March Memorial Marathon yesterday at White Sands. He said it was brutal: running mostly uphill in the sand in 4o mph wind. It took him just under 6 hours. He is very sore and moving slow today!

I'm still knitting when I can. I'm getting closer to the end of the baby blanket I've been working on, just a few inches to go. Then I came across another pattern last week and had to try it. It's the Mitered Crosses Blanket on the MasonDixon Knitting blog. Proceeds from the sale of the pattern go to relief work in Japan. I bought the pattern and have almost finished one square. Once I finish the square, I'll get back to the baby blanket.

Renee was at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs a couple weeks ago and got to see the Duggars being interviewed for the radio program. (The only thing I miss not having satellite TV anymore is their show 19 Kids and Counting.) Renee bought me their book, The Duggars: 20 and Counting. It's a good book and very well written. It tells their family story and also gives lots of parenting advice and tips. I'm now finding myself thinking, "How would Michelle Duggar repond?" Although I don't want that many kids, I admire how they are raising their family.

Sure wish I could post pictures of my beautiful girls.

2 sides of adoption

2011-03-24T09:31:00.004-07:00

There really are two side to adoption. Joy for the adopting family and grief for the adopted child.

I have wanted to adopt for several years. One of the biggest reasons is that I have always wanted to parent a girl. And now I have the joy of doing just that. These girls are a huge blessing to our family and we love having them with us.

But for theses girls, coming to our home was not joy-filled. It was heart-breaking. They both had already experienced the loss of their biological families (though J still has some contact with her's). Then they were very abruptly removed from they only other (foster) home they had ever known.

J especially deals with a lot of grief and anger over what has happened to her. She cries and tanrums and says she wants to go back to her other home. She talks constantly about her other siblings and her other mom and dad. I even see it occasionally in M, especially at bedtime. She will hit my face and scream and try to push me away. She knows I'm not the same person who used to take care of her.

These incidents are coming less and less and the girls really are adjusting well. But you really should remember when you hear stories about adoption, yes it's great for the adopting family and yes adoption is a beautiful thing, but it is also very hard for the children no matter what circumstances they came from. Adoptive families should be aware of and ready to deal with the grief and anger their new children will experience.

Just keeping it real!

Jonathan is 12!

2011-03-17T12:59:00.002-07:00

I almost forgot to post about Jonathan's birthday!

He turned 12 last Saturday. 12! One more year and I'll have 2 teenagers. Yikes!

His friend Bradley spent the night. We had dinner (just like every Saturday night after church) at Dion's. I made his favorite chocolate chocolate chip cookie cake.

His gift from us was new cymbals for his drum set, which came UPS yesterday. He didn't like the crash cymbal, so we're returning it and looking for a new one. He's getting picky about his drums!

Another year older

2011-03-17T12:40:00.005-07:00

Yesterday was my 41st birthday and what a difference a year makes.

Last year, my life was fairly easy. This year, it's hard.

Last year, I had 3 kids. This year, I have 5.

Last year, it had been years since I'd cared for a baby. This year, I have one.

Last year, I had never parented a girl. This year, I'm parenting 2 girls.

Last year, we had just decided to adopt. This year, it just might happen.

Last year, I had no idea what foster care was like. This year, I know all too well.

We took pictures of me and each of my babies. Here's the ones I can show.

Yesterday was pretty much a normal day: school, soccer, everyone going in different directions. But today, thanks to my friend Donna, I get a date with my husband! We're going to dinner and refrigerator shopping!

Still here

2011-03-11T13:00:00.003-07:00

I'm still here! Things are going well. Somehow it feels like the girls have always been here. And though things are sometimes tough with J, both girls are a part of our family now.

We've gotten into a pretty good routine. The boys do their school work in the morning with me going back and forth between them and the girls. Jon, Ben, and J have their regular trampoline date at 10am break time. M has lunch about 11:30 and nap at noon (and usually sleeps about 2 hours). Somewhere in there I get lunch fixed for everyone else.

J plays with the boys in the afternoons and they get their music practicing and reading done. I try to get a little computer time while M is napping. Dinner is around 5 or 5:30. We start getting the girls ready for bed around 7:15. J is still having a hard time at bedtime (crying, tantruming), but they are usually settled by 8pm. Then we spend a little time with the boys and sometimes watch a favorite tv show before they go to bed.

By this time I'm beat, but I try to get a little knitting done before I head to bed. I'm working on a baby blanket for a friend due in 2 months. Hope I can finish it!

J's visit and appointment schedule is still crazy, (Monday mornings, every other Monday afternoon, Tuesday afternoons, Friday nights) but her Saturday morning Spanish class has only 2 weeks left. And her social worker says we don't have to continue. That is a big relief to us.

Things are still up in the air with J. Supposedly we are waiting on a court date for TPR (termination of parental rights). Hopefully that will be soon and we can know what will happen.

Please keep praying for us!

Good days, bad days

2011-03-04T10:31:00.004-07:00

We're still here, it's just hard to find time to blog!

We had a couple of really hard days with J this week (wetting pants, tantrums, etc.), and then yesterday was a really good day. I'm learning how to handle her behavior and she's learning what it's like to live in our home. She has a great therapist that comes to our home every week to work with her and us.

Last night both girls were in bed by 7:45 and stayed asleep until 7 this morning. That's a first. J is an early riser (6-6:30am) and then wakes up M.

M is doing great. She is such an easy baby. I put her in her crib a few minutes ago to play so I could get on the computer for a few minutes. I just checked on her and she was almost asleep. It's not naptime yet!

The boys are doing amazingly well with the transition. Ben had a hard time the first few days, but now it's like they've always had sisters.

I still haven't heard back from J's social worker on where things are with her case. That's frustrating!

Happy Birthday Ben!

2011-02-28T13:11:00.003-07:00

Yesterday was Benjamin's 9th birthday!

It was kind of a crazy day, but we managed to make it special for him. We had celebrated Zach's birthday Saturday night with his friend Brandon. So we went to church yesterday morning (we usually go on Saturday nights). Then Jonathan and I played in the Rio Rancho Symphonic Band concert. After the concert we went to McDonald's (still his favorite) with friends Bradley and Aubrey. They ate Happy Meals, played, and had ice cream for dessert.

We will continue the birthday celebration next weekend when his friend Eric spends the night. We're saving the cupcakes he wants for then. Our gift to him is a new piano keyboard, which we ordered and will hopefully be here by then.

I'd post more pics, but it's a pain to edit them to remove the girls from them. And my computer time is somewhat limited these days!

Hard

2011-02-25T10:20:00.003-07:00

So today I'm the one having a hard time. I met J's GAL (attorney) yesterday. After talking with her, I'm starting to think that she may actually end up going home to her dad. I've met him. I actually like him. He loves her and I do think he would do his best to take care of her. Could he do as good a job raising her as we could? Maybe not, but I believe that as long as she is safe and loved she will be better off in the long run with her biological family.

The hard part is not knowing. She might be here forever or she might be gone in a few months. I want to love her, I do love her. But if she's going home, I want to that to happen sooner rather than later before we all get too attached. Plus, she's already been in foster care for 4 years. It's time for her to be done with all this and move on with her life. I'm really praying that things will be resolved before school starts in August.

I sent an email this morning to her social worker. I'm not sure what's supposed to happen next, but something needs to happen soon.

Happy Birthday Zach!

2011-02-24T11:26:00.002-07:00

Today is Zachary's 17th birthday. Wow! I am I really old enough to have a 17 year old? I guess the question now would be am I young enough to have a 1 year old!

I am so proud of this young man. I can't wait to see what God has in store for him.

Love you Zach!

Doll Blanket

2011-02-24T11:17:00.003-07:00

So someone got a new doll yesterday. And someone's doll needed a blanket. So someone - that would be me - found some yarn and quickly crocheted a blanket.

We must be doing ok if I found time to actually crochet something!

Really hard day

2011-02-18T14:04:00.004-07:00

I guess the honeymoon is over. J had a really hard day yesterday. She wouldn't talk to me. She would not do what I asked her to. She refused to do things for herself that she knows how to do. She wouldn't make a decision when asked (like oatmeal or waffles for breakfast). She completely melted down crying 3 times.

On top of that, M was very fussy (turns out she was cutting a new tooth) and Jonathan was throwing up sick. Yeah, not a good day.

After talking to her therapist, we know that J is probably testing us to see whether we are really going to love her no matter what. She also might be thinking if she's bad enough she'll get to go back to her other foster home. This poor girl has been through so much. Our prayer is that her case will get resolved quickly. She really needs a miracle.

Today has been a MUCH better day. J has been mostly cooperative. She didn't want to eat her breakfast. So I told her it would stay on the table until she was ready to eat, but no snacks or anything else. 30 minutes later she went back and ate it all. She got dressed all by herself and let me french braid her hair.

We even went to to Target and McDonald's for lunch. I bought baby shoes. Couldn't help myself!

One day at a time...

One week in...

2011-02-16T18:49:00.003-07:00

The girls have been here a week now, and I already can't imagine life without them. I was so completely overwhelmed last week and really wondered how we were going to do this. But we take each day as it comes and we are all falling in love.

J (5) has a lot of appointments and visits and I wasn't sure how I was going to handle all of that. But we just want to do everything we can to help her. She had a rough time a couple evenings ago, dealing with the loss of her other foster family. Her reaction to things bothering her is to shut down and not talk. But she finally cried and verbally expressed missing her other Mom and Dad. We are just loving her through everything right now. We give lots of hugs! She really is a sweet girl.

M (1) is doing amazingly well. She is such an easy baby. We've already gotten on a good schedule. Now if I could just get her to sleep past 6 am! She is crawling and just yesterday pulled up to standing. (Not sure if that is new for her.) She has done a lot more exploring today, crawling all around seeing what she can get into. I think she is starting to attach to me. She got really upset tonight when I left to take Jonathan to church. No one likes to see a baby cry, but if she's crying when I leave that's a good thing.

Greg is completely smitten too, I think. He had the girls last night when I went to band rehearsal. He got the girls to bed and even combed out J's hair (she has a very thick, long hair).

The boys doing great and love their new sisters. Jonathan and Zach love carrying M around. I pretty sure she will be spoiled rotten very soon! Benjamin and J love to play on the trampoline together. They are so cute together. He needed a little sister.

As for the future... It looks like we will be able to adopt M and we will get started on that process soon. We just don't know about J yet. Her situation is more complicated. But we are hoping and praying that we can adopt her too.

I have to say I am in tears every day thanking God for these beautiful girls. Life has not been fair to them and they have had to deal with more than any child ever should. But I know that God has uniquely prepared us and is equipping us to love these girls with His love. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are smack dab in the center of His will. That's a good place to be.

Zach's Car!

2011-02-14T10:41:00.004-07:00

Zach got his first car this weekend!

Once we got the girls, we knew there was no way we would be able to handle everything without Zachary being able to transport himself to work and everything else he has going on. He's been saving and had his half of the money ready. (We matched his savings.) So he and Greg went looking Friday afternoon. They found a 2002 Ford Explorer on Craig's list, a private seller. The price was right and it is in good shape. It has a few scuffs and dings, but I think that's a good thing for a first car.

We had to get to the bank to get cash for the purchase and so didn't pick it up until Saturday afternoon. Zach had to work and didn't even get to go with us. But it was waiting for him when he got home.

I think he's happy!

Bows

2011-02-12T14:07:00.003-07:00

I've been waiting my whole life for this.

I can't believe I have girls. And J is a girly girl and loves to have her hair done. This is fun!

Gotta go. Baby is awake!

The new normal

2011-02-11T08:56:00.004-07:00

We are slowly getting used to our new normal. When we started this journey, I never really imagined we would get a baby. Getting used to diapers and bottles again has been a shock to my system. But I have having so much fun taking care of girls! I even fixed pigtails this morning!

The girls are doing well. They both slept all night last night, which was a blessing as yesterday the baby (M) woke up at 5 am, which woke up J (5 yrs). I did get M back to sleep for a while, but J never did go back to sleep. She was one tired little girl last night.

Right now we are watching Dora. I love Dora!

We have managed to get school work done, though we are taking today off.

The boys have been amazing! Zach loves holding M. Jon does too, but M is not very comfortable with him. Ben and Jon have been great with J. They spent a couple hours yesterday afternoon playing barbies with her!

Our schedule is going to be crazy. We'll have two if not three home visits with social workers next week. Each of the girls has a different social worker and we have our placement worker.

I have to admit, the first day I was VERY overwhelmed, thinking how are we going to do this and what have we gotten ourselves into. No matter how much training you have or how many classes you attend, there is just no way to really be prepared for all that comes with foster care. But these girls are precious and they need a family to care for them. God has called us and we are are going to take one day at a time and love them with Christ's love.

And in other news...Greg is taking Zach car shopping this afternoon!

Girls!

2011-02-08T13:57:00.003-07:00

We are getting girls today! We got the call a couple of hours ago. They are 1 and 5, not biologically related, but have been together in the same foster home since the baby was a couple weeks old. The 1 yr old is already free for adoption, the 5 yr old probably will be soon.

We are all beyond excited and trying to do what we can to get the house ready for a toddler and preschooler. Life is about to get CRAZY!

We are waiting to hear back from the social worker on when they are coming, but it will be sometime this afternoon.

And I'm pretty sure we'll be going to Walmart soon!

Audition

2011-02-07T19:57:00.003-07:00

***Warning - proud Mom post***

Jonathan auditioned today for our church's youth worship team. He did so good. He had been practicing with the original recorded songs, but for the audition they used a recording from a worship service and pulled the drum track out. Jonathan just took it all in stride and did his thing!

All the drums you hear in the videos are him.

He started off with this one. He had a few spots where he got off just a little, but got right back into it.

This one he just nailed! (in my humble opinion)

We'll find out in a couple weeks if he made the worship team, but I think they were impressed. I know I was!

BTW- He started on drum set when he was 7 yrs old. He'll be 12 next month.

First call

2011-02-04T16:04:00.003-07:00

We finally got a call about a foster placement this afternoon, but we said no. I can't go into the details here, but I just knew this would not be a good situation for us. I feel bad for saying no to our first call, but better to say no now than to have problems or have to disrupt the placement later.

Cold!!!

2011-02-03T16:16:00.004-07:00

This was the temperature when I got up this morning.

Yesterday the high was about 10 degrees F.

I'm a southern girl. The farthest north I've ever lived is Oklahoma City. I have never been in temperatures this cold.

Today's 17 degrees seems downright balmy!

I'm ready for summer.

Finished baby blanket

2011-02-01T13:38:00.002-07:00

I finished up this baby blanket yesterday.

It has been on the needles since last summer when I started it to use up some leftover yarn. I'm glad it's done. I don't like to have projects left hanging for too long. I sort of followed the Mason-Dixon pattern for the Moderne Log Cabin Baby Blanket. Then I added a crochet scallop border that I just made up.

I'm not sure what I'll do with it. I was thinking of donating it somewhere, but now I think I'll hang on to it in case we get a little one.

As soon as I finished this one, I started on another baby blanket for a friend due in few months. Gotta keep knitting!

Too many bubbles?

2011-01-31T19:17:00.004-07:00

Jon and Ben decided they needed a bubble bath in the big tub tonight. This is what Greg found when he went in to check on them.

Finished!

2011-01-28T13:34:00.003-07:00

I finished the socks!

Will we ever get a girl?

2011-01-24T14:42:00.003-07:00

I'm starting to wonder. We've been on the concurrent foster care list for 3 weeks now (and the adoptive list for 5 months) and still no calls. I really thought we would have had a placement by now. I know it will happen, but it sure is hard not knowing WHEN it will happen.

We had a training class last Saturday on Trauma and what it does to kids. The bottom line is that any child in CYFD custody has experienced some kind of trauma and we need to be prepared for all that that can entail. It won't be easy.

Some days I think, "Why are we doing this?" It's hard enough raising the boys we already have. I have to remind myself that we are doing this because this is what God has called us to do. He will give us the strength to handle whatever comes.

So, we'll keep waiting.

Braces

2011-01-18T15:20:00.003-07:00

Jonathan got braces today!

This is phase 2 for him. When he was about 8 he had a palate expander, braces, and headgear. This phase will correct a slight overbite, some spacing issues and one tilted tooth. He should be done in less than a year.

One done!

2011-01-17T14:42:00.002-07:00

I finished the first sock last night while watching the movie Letters to God. Really good movie by the way.

I like this pattern so much better for this yarn and it's a much easier pattern to knit. Now on to sock number 2!

What's up?

2011-01-10T16:07:00.003-07:00

Here's what's up with us...

Homeschooling is back in full swing. It's going well with Jon and Ben. As for Zach, I'll be glad when he graduates next year and his schooling is no longer our responsibility. He's getting good grades but, Greg is having to help him quite a bit with Algebra and Chemistry. We're looking at keeping his senior year next year as simple as possible (no calculus or physics).

I sang with the worship team at our church for the first time this weekend - 6 services! It was a long weekend, but I loved it! Here's video if your interested - Sagebrush Community Church. Just click on Worship under "Caution, Week 1". And yes I knit that scarf I'm wearing.

We are on the concurrent foster care list. We're just waiting for that phone call, then everything changes!

Stay tuned!

Bongos

2011-01-05T14:30:00.001-07:00

Here's a video we recorded of Jonathan (with a little help from Benjamin) playing the bongos he got for Christmas.

Starting over

2011-01-05T14:22:00.003-07:00

Sometimes you just have to start over.

I've been waiting for a few months to get my hands on this yarn. I love the yarn, and I found a cool pattern (which would be great on a more solid color yarn). I finally started this sock on Christmas day. I wasn't loving how it was turning out, but I kept knitting anyway, thinking it would turn out ok. But by this morning I'd had enough. The colors were pooling weirdly, the pattern was lost in the color, it was going to be too big, and on top of that the pattern is quite difficult to knit. Did I really want to finish a sock I didn't love and then have to knit another one? No.

So I ripped it all out. More than a week's worth of knitting down the drain. But better that than another two or three weeks and a pair of socks I don't like.

So I started over. A found another pattern on Ravelry called Down the Rabbit Hole. I think this is going to be better. Sometimes starting over is a good thing.

December Layouts

2011-01-03T14:37:00.005-07:00

I think we've finally got my new computer all set up - thanks to the many hours Greg spent on it! I'm scrapbooking, blogging, and emailing. What more do I need!

Here are the December layouts I've gotten done on my new Mac, running Windows parallels (not ready to move to the Mac version of my scrapbooking software just yet).

Now I'll get these printed and finish up my 2010 album. I'll also have all of 2010's blog posts made into a book. I hope someday my kids and grandkids will appreciate this!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T13:27:00.003-07:00

We finished off 2010 with a 50 turn game of Mario Party Wii that took us all the way to midnight. That was a longggg game! Jonathan won, Ben got upset, Zach didn't even play - he watched movies instead.

And now on to 2011. I'm so excited to see what this year brings. I think we will have a little girl or two with us very soon.

After Christmas

2010-12-29T19:58:00.003-07:00

Christmas may be over, but Christmas break is not. We are all enjoying the time off school. Over the last three days, I've gotten all the decorations and lights packed away. The house looks empty, but it's nice to have it done.

Zach had his friend Brandon over for a while this afternoon. Jonathan is spending the night with his friends, twins Jacob and Gregory. Their brother Eric is spending the night here with Benjamin. We took them to McDonald's for dinner.

I spent the afternoon knitting. I just decided I needed a new scarf.

Looks cool, but it's really very easy. You can find the pattern here on Ravelry.com.

And now I'm off to knit some more and watch a movie with my hubby. Enjoying the peace and quiet while it lasts!

Christmas

2010-12-26T15:00:00.006-07:00

We had a very nice, quiet Christmas with just the 5 of us.

The boys didn't wake us up too early and liked all their gifts.

Jon and Ben got Zach the Slinky Dog. He loved it! That's the blanket I crocheted for him.

Here's the socks I finished for Jon just in time! He loves them.

And I got a new computer - a Mac Mini! We're still working on getting it all set up, but I think I'm really going to like having a Mac.

The boys got me these fridge magnets. Awesome!

We had a simple Christmas dinner - ham (that was terrible, mostly fat, yuck!), mashed potatoes, rolls, etc. and chocolate and pumpkin pie for dessert.

A very good day...

Snow!

2010-12-17T14:40:00.005-07:00

Three posts in one day!!! Enjoy it, it might be a while before you see another!

We had some unexpected snow last night - at least I wasn't expecting it. Of course the boys were thrilled. It was supposed to be our last day of school before our Christmas break. So we called it one big day of physical and snow education!

We had about 5-6 inches. Everything was covered!

Jon and Ben spent the whole morning outside. Here's their snowman.

I gave Zach a choice: he could write his history report or shovel the driveway? Which would you choose!?
He still has to write the paper. Christmas break doesn't start for him until he does. What a mean teacher he has!