Saying Goodbye

So yesterday was the day.  We said goodbye to J.  It was a hard day.  I picked her up from school at 2.  I braided her hair one last time.  Then we talked to her a little and gave her some legos (she loved playing legos with the boys).  She spent the next hour playing with Jon and Ben.  We were planning to go to Chick-fil-A for an early dinner and to say goodbye to Zach who was working.  When I told her it was time to get ready to go, she lost it.  She was screaming that she didn't want to go.  She screamed at me to call the judge.  I stayed calm and told her that there was nothing I could do, she belongs with her dad.  She called down after a few minutes and that was it.  She was fine at Chick-fil-A.  She said goodbye to everyone.  Then I drove her to her dad's.  She fell asleep on the way (which is her way of checking out).  When we got there she immediately took her new legos inside and started playing.  When I told her it was time for me to leave, she said "Bye Mom" with no emotion whatsoever.  She did let me hold her, but she was emotionally checked out.  So sad.

I told her that her dad has our number and it was ok to call us.  Her dad said we could call her.  I might try to call next weekend.  We do plan to send her letters and pictures occasionally too.

I hope she'll be ok.  I know her dad is in for a rough time with her.  I don't think he realizes what a tramatized child she is.  But they'll have to figure out their own way.

We'll be fine.  We still have M.  She's not going anywhere. 

Thanks so much to everyone that has been praying for us.