There really are two side to adoption. Joy for the adopting family and grief for the adopted child.
I have wanted to adopt for several years. One of the biggest reasons is that I have always wanted to parent a girl. And now I have the joy of doing just that. These girls are a huge blessing to our family and we love having them with us.
But for theses girls, coming to our home was not joy-filled. It was heart-breaking. They both had already experienced the loss of their biological families (though J still has some contact with her's). Then they were very abruptly removed from they only other (foster) home they had ever known.
J especially deals with a lot of grief and anger over what has happened to her. She cries and tanrums and says she wants to go back to her other home. She talks constantly about her other siblings and her other mom and dad. I even see it occasionally in M, especially at bedtime. She will hit my face and scream and try to push me away. She knows I'm not the same person who used to take care of her.
These incidents are coming less and less and the girls really are adjusting well. But you really should remember when you hear stories about adoption, yes it's great for the adopting family and yes adoption is a beautiful thing, but it is also very hard for the children no matter what circumstances they came from. Adoptive families should be aware of and ready to deal with the grief and anger their new children will experience.
Just keeping it real!